Strong Willed: Everything You Should Know

November 29, 2022 by No Comments

A strong-willed person is someone who has a strong will because their will is their desire or motivation to do something. This may be advantageous or detrimental. It takes a strong-willed, stubborn child to insist on going to the zoo in the rain. In a better way, a person with strong convictions is strong-willed. A hero is a strong-willed person, as is anyone who demonstrates courage. To stand up for what you believe in trying circumstances, you must have a strong will.

How to Tell If You’re Willful Or Strong-Willed?

Success comes to the strong-willed, but the willful frequently sabotages it. Willful people can be fiercely obstinate in their beliefs and pursuit of their objectives, disregarding what other people need and think. Despite challenges or unfavorable effects, they frequently force their will vehemently. Their inability to let go and their obsessive and compulsive behavior make it difficult to recover from codependency and addiction.

A strong-minded person, on the other hand, accepts life on its own terms, which creates a solid foundation for constructive, effective action that is well-thought-out and not compulsive.


One of the early authors on codependency, Psychiatrist Timmen Cermak, believed that codependents and addicts “control their lives by sheer force of will.” The book Alcoholics Anonymous attributes the phrase “self-will run riot” to selfishness, “driven by fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.” Self-will can lead us to reject reality and wise counsel, manipulate other people and the truth, and do other things that serve our own interests. We are prepared to take chances even when doing so might result in retaliation or jeopardize our relationships, peace of mind, and job security. Some addicts, narcissists, or sociopaths use deceit, the exploitation of others, and unethical or illegal behavior to further their objectives.

Codependency and Control

Codependency between addiction and codependency has control as one of its main symptoms. People who are codependent have a dysfunctional relationship with willpower. We can be apathetic and fail to use it to its full potential at times. Some of us have never learned to express our needs and wants or make decisions. Instead, we remain inactive or cede control to others.

Occasionally, we try to impose our will on others and circumstances that are beyond our control. We have a hard time accepting reality and think things ought to be different. Anger and resentment are the results of our denial. When things don’t go as planned or when people act differently than we would like, we tend to get frustrated easily. This presumption exhibits a certain amount of pride and arrogance. Psychiatrist Abraham Twerski adds that the addictive thinking that underlies controlling behavior exemplifies “a delusion of omnipotence.”

We try to manipulate and control the lives of others because we don’t feel like we have any power in our own lives. Our attention is external and focused on changing others and imposing solutions, which would be empowering instead of accepting responsibility for our own happiness. We don’t know how to speak up for ourselves and be assertive about what we need, so we try to control other people to make ourselves feel better. We think, “I’ll make him (or her) do what I want once I’ve changed them, and I’ll be content.” These actions are motivated by the false notions that we have the power to influence others and that their happiness is a condition of our own. However, when our expectations aren’t met, we feel even more helpless and powerless.

By making ineffective efforts to change things we can’t, we frequently exacerbate issues and foster victimization and hopelessness-related feelings in others. The struggle of altering ourselves is enough! The first step of Codependents Anonymous, Al-Anon, and Alcoholics Anonymous addresses the control and encourages us to acknowledge our helplessness in the face of circumstances beyond our control.

Is Being Strong-willed a Good Thing?

If you do possess this capacity for strong willpower, you may be considering whether it is generally advantageous.

The answer is yes.

Similar to wind, the force that can be generated by willpower can be used to propel objects.

For you to fulfill your potential and move forward in life, willpower is a crucial tool.

Knowing if you have a strong will allows you to pursue your goals in a more proactive manner rather than settling for the notion that you lack one.

What Are the Signs You’re a Strong-willed Person?

You don’t truly know you have willpower until you step on the gas, just like the horsepower in an old car.

The truth is that because they believe in too many stereotypes, a lot of strong-willed people don’t really know that side of themselves.

definition strong willed

You Are Decisive and Stick to Your Choices

Bells and whistles are not necessary to have a strong will. Knowing who you are and remaining true to that identity through life’s ups and downs is important.

One of your best qualities is that you make decisions independently and don’t submit them to pressure from others.

“No amount of persuasion can budge them once they have made up their mind,” writes Tian C.

If that describes you, you might be more stubborn than you think.

A part of you simply won’t submit to the whims of others, and your fortitude endures hardship.

When it counts, you don’t yell or swear, but you stand by your principles.

You Don’t Lose Yourself in Love

Even the most balanced individual may find love to be challenging to be strong-willed.

We run the risk of being seriously injured when we expose ourselves to another person.

You don’t easily open yourself up to love, which is one of the most obvious signs that you have a strong personality (even if it doesn’t feel that way).

Don’t get me wrong:

You’re receptive to it, and when it does, you give and receive love.

But you wouldn’t jump in head first without thinking, only to end up burned and scorched.

You take it slow whenever possible and make sure you’re on the same page as your partner because you know how painful unrequited love can be…

And you possess the willpower to prevent yourself from experiencing a one-sided heartbreak.

Your Values Are Non-negotiable

Your values are not for sale, which is one of the most obvious signs that you have a strong-willed character.

No matter how much someone tries to bully or push you, you will never give up what you stand for or what you believe in.

Though it’s often not the case, the perception that this entails drama or volume is fairly widespread.

If you simply won’t say or do things that go against your beliefs, you may be a very respectful and reserved person.

You Don’t Fear Rejection

Everybody experiences pain from rejection at some point. Rejection from a romantic partner, your family, coworkers, or even at home can fall under this category.

The majority of us naturally try to avoid it because it stings and burns a hole in our hearts.

However, one of the most crucial indicators that you have a strong will is that you don’t worry about being rejected.

You simply don’t concentrate on avoiding it, even though it hurts.

You face rejection head-on and deal with it if and when it comes.

You acknowledge that it occasionally occurs and that nobody can really avoid it.

Instead, you use rejection and disappointment to strengthen your resolve and carry on with your social and personal life.

Since you know you deserve love, you don’t accept anything less.

You Push Yourself to Excel Physically and Mental

Each of us is born with unique skills and limitations to be strong-willed.

But one of the most encouraging indications that you have a strong will is that you push yourself to achieve your best both mentally and physically.

On the mental side, this might entail things like picking up a new language, becoming proficient in a new skill or adjusting to new career-related skills.

On the physical front, this might entail maintaining a strenuous exercise program, dieting, or taking care of your hygiene and appearance.

Getting the most out of what you can control is a key component of having strong willpower.

You will therefore do everything in your power to ensure that you look and feel good.

If you’re optimizing your daily life, you probably have stronger willpower than you may have thought. That takes willpower to maintain.

You’re Highly Self-sufficient

Your high level of self-sufficiency is another telltale sign that you have a strong-willed.

You don’t typically seek out or require help, but you’re fine with asking for it or getting it when you need it.

Your first inclination is to try to figure something out on your own whenever possible.

If you can, you prefer to complete tasks on your own when you have them.

People may frequently turn to you in times of crisis and adversity because of your capacity to complete tasks.

They are aware that you are a trustworthy individual who has the self-control and wisdom to deal with unforeseen circumstances and needs.

Your secret willpower reserve is entirely responsible for that.

You Control Your Reactions in Difficult Situations

definition strong willed

It’s simple to get angry when unexpected or upsetting things occur.

You don’t do this, and even if it doesn’t feel like it, that’s one of the most obvious signs you’re a strong-willed person.

Certainly, when life throws a curveball, you want to lash out, yell, or curse the universe.

But you don’t.

You have enough self-control to resist the urge to act in the way you feel tempted to.

However, you decide against doing so because you are able to understand on an emotional and logical level how a strong response would only make the crisis worse.

It’s the same with internal issues that you’re coping with. You allow them to be who they are, pass in their own time, and teach you whatever is necessary rather than letting them snowball.

You’re Realistic About Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Being strong-willed isn’t just about “trying harder” than everyone around you and never giving up.

It also has to do with reality.

You accept and work within your limitations, which is one of the most telling signs that you have a strong will.

Instead of being overly optimistic, arrogant, or egotistical, you accept your shortcomings and move on.

If you’re bad at marketing, you don’t act your way into a position that requires marketing expertise. You shouldn’t embark on a solo backpacking trip through an unexplored part of Bhutan if you have trouble following directions.

Instead, you reserve your willpower for tasks and adventures that you know you can complete successfully.

The reason is that you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses.

Your Schedule is Not Up for Grabs

Letting others control their time and schedule is one of the top things that people who lack willpower do.

They put everything on hold to help out a fellow employee who needs to talk on the job.

They abruptly change course and abandon everything when a fresh idea strikes them.

Being able to maintain discipline and adhere to a schedule is one of the most crucial traits of a strong-willed person.

Yes, you can change when it’s urgent or necessary, but you shouldn’t fiddle with your schedule or allow it to be altered needlessly. When possible, you follow your plan exactly and only deviate from it when absolutely necessary.

You Think Before You Act

Being impulsive can have serious consequences. Whether it’s impulsively sleeping with someone or impulsively quitting a job, it can sabotage your life in many ways to be strong-willed.

But the reality is that exercising strong willpower to think things through before acting is difficult.

Even those with the highest moral standards occasionally succumb to impulsive actions.

The less you do it, the more it demonstrates your independence and strong will.

This video from TopThink makes a great point:

“You’re probably more cautious and analytical if you have strong-willed.

You Have a High Level of Patience

The ability to be patient is one of the most crucial indicators that you have strong-willed.

These days, many people lack a number of underappreciated traits, including patience.

It can be very challenging to have patience when an answer or solution to a problem is only a Google search or smartphone swipe away.

Because of this, the ability to wait patiently and be content without immediate gratification is so uncommon and priceless today.

You Have a Growth-based Mindset

A fixed mindset or a growth-based mindset are the two basic mindsets in life.

The fixed mindset places an emphasis on constraints, past events, and hesitant analysis of what might occur.

The growth mindset emphasizes potential, opportunities in the future, and an upbeat idea for current goals.

While one mindset seeks security and comfort, the other seeks to challenge and expand.

Strong willpower prevents you from letting the past control the present.

You adopt a growth-based mindset because you understand that only you can lead your own life and determine how you will behave moving forward.

definition strong willed

You’re Not Chasing Applause

A strong-willed person doesn’t seek out applause, which is connected to the previous point.

If people adore you or your work, that’s fantastic!

It’s fantastic if they believe you are foolish or mistaken.

You continue forward motion, putting one foot in front of the other, and upholding your moral standards.

You don’t get the same rosy glow that some people do from hearing applause and compliments.

It’s more akin to elevator music; it works best as background noise and can become grating if played for an extended period of time.

The same is true of criticism, resentment, and toxic reactions; they are merely background noise.

You Don’t Need to Be Understood to Feel Good Inside

Being misunderstood hurts and can be extremely demoralizing.

After all, humans are tribal creatures, and when we feel misunderstood, it’s easy to start feeling disenfranchised and unappreciated.

The fact is that far too many of us place more emphasis on how we differ from one another than on how we are related and interconnected.

You have a strong will, so you won’t rely on others misinterpreting you in order to live your life and uphold your morals.

Even when the masses are against you, you’ll only see it as a necessary step on the path to success and self-actualization.

Jealousy is Nowhere on Your Radar

Most of us experience envy of others at some point in our lives.

Jealousy, however, is not something that the strong-willed person considers.

Even though you may have already tasted envy once or twice, you don’t want to do so again because you found its flavor to be bitter and revolting.

Because it’s useless and stupid, jealousy is an emotional reaction that you block out and ignore.

To gauge your progress, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

Who has the better partner, home, or career doesn’t matter to you. You’re motivated by the thought of reaching your objectives and experiencing inner fulfillment.

You’re Not into the Blame Game

There is more than enough blame to go around in our world.

We can place the blame for the issues in our lives on a variety of forces and people, including greedy corporations, warmongers, dishonest people, and liars.

I am aware that I have placed my fair share of the blame, including on myself.

But for someone with a strong will, blaming grows increasingly repulsive. It just doesn’t get results…

One of the biggest signs you’re a strong-willed person is that you instinctively shy away from focusing on blame…

You don’t take pleasure in being blamed, even when it is obvious. You lay out the facts before concentrating on a potential fix.

While blaming separates us, working together to find solutions brings us together.

To acknowledge that and uphold it requires a strong will.

What Are the Strong-Willed Influencers?

Strong-willed individuals, on the other hand, exude confidence and have nothing to prove. Their priorities for their time and activities are clear, and they have a purpose and goals in mind. They act swiftly and without hesitation, seeking approval or any other kind of justification. Their fear of failure, rejection, or disapproval, therefore, has no effect on them. They are willing to initiate action because they are unafraid. They don’t mind being unique or making errors. They assess their mistakes and learn from them instead of fearing the shame that failure might bring. They are also unafraid to try new things and think outside the box because of their confidence. For example, because they’re open-minded and not compulsive, they’re able to allow their imagination to present new directions and creative solutions,

They put an emphasis on finding solutions and completing tasks because they are execution-oriented. They accept what they cannot change and have the courage to change what they can, as the Serenity Prayer advises. As a result, they make concessions as needed to advance projects. They are more open to learning and adapting when they are confident because it keeps their ego in check. They don’t waste time trying to control or argue with resistant people; instead, they look for ways to influence and gain cooperation from others.

It’s a fact that successful people say “no” a lot. They place value on the time they spend alone, as well as with others. Strong-willed individuals are consequently unambiguous about their boundaries, both with themselves and others. Their vitality is purposeful and directed. Whether it’s mastering a new skill, organizing the garage, or starting a business, they have the perseverance and self-control to achieve their objectives. They are able to delay gratification because of their strong will, which also gives them presence and patience. They don’t waste their time engaging in destructive routines or addictive behavior.

Strong-willed people maintain focus on the bigger picture, which includes the moral aspects. Their principles and integrity are safeguarded by strict boundaries. Out of fear, they don’t put up with bad behavior from other people. They are unwavering in their commitment to what matters to them, but they are also adaptable, curious, and able to listen.

A strong-willed person is someone who has a strong will because their will is their desire or motivation to do something. This may be advantageous or detrimental. To stand up for what you believe in trying circumstances, you must have a strong will. Are you a strong-willed person? Do you know more about strong-willed?